Alternate working title: Expensive Boutique Fitness Studios are the Dystopian Workouts of the Future That Our Capitalist Society Demands.
Picture this: you're in an underground basement vaguely resembling a concrete bunker. A harsh light glows neon orange, and is the only illumination throughout the oppressive space. In the hallway, a group of tired, miserable-looking people wait for the folks ahead of them to finish with their time in the bunker. When they swap out with this group, barely saying hello or looking anybody in the eye, they will spend the next hour lifting heavy things, sweating, and following instructions relayed to them over a screen while pounding, bass-heavy music reverberates throughout.
No, this isn't a scene out of a young adult dystopian novel taking place 100 years in the future. This is my life. I mean, this is my life when I (willingly) go to Orange Theory Fitness, a boutique fitness studio with a location on 14th Street in Washington, DC.