i haven't been significantly sick in a really long time, thanks to the wonders of pineapple juice. but i hadn't been drinking any in a few weeks (hadn't had time to stop by the grocery store), i was struck by inauguritis, and then i went to chicago where it's really blasted cold and i was on a plane which always makes me sick. so i was struck by an upper respiratory infection. i haven't felt that shitty in ages. but the following has made me feel significantly better. i suggest it for all your illness woes!
-drink as much tea with honey as possible. add red pepper flakes, as recommended by spencer.
-drink as much water as possible. seriously, just drown yourself. bottle after bottle.
-buy pineapple jucie. drink 3 of those mini 6 oz dole cans a day (i cannot stress highly enough: NOT THE STUFF IN A CARTON. that's pure sugar and fake pineapples. drink only the little metal dole cans!). one in the morning, one in the PM, and one before bed. do this for at least 3 days in a row. look, i know you all don't believe me about pineapple juice. but it's got bromelain, which loosens up chest mucous and whatever, and it also reduces swelling so it helps with sore throats and swollen glands.
-invest heavily in nyquil. i've been asleep by 9pm the past two nights, sleeping 10 hours each time. it's fantastic.
-and most important of all: order a crapload of ma la dishes off the menu of great wall on 14th street. start with some hot and sour soup. then eat as much of the ma la whatever you order (i went for the tofu) as you can possibly ingest. people, i've been sweating buckets eating this stuff. and my respiratory system has never felt so cleansed.
and voila! you shall be well (or at least back on the path to wellness) once again.
I am forwarding this to my wife, and then running out to the store for pineapple juice. We're both starting to get sick, and MUST NOT GET SICK.
Posted by: mrh | January 30, 2009 at 05:08 PM